oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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