Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
