I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize