No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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