I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He? As in you personified your dick?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
