You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
