how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize