Whod you bang
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
