Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
