Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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