He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
