apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just gargled with NyQuil
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
