I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
