what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
