I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
