Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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