I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my being single is dangerous.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well I just put wine in my tea
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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