wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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