His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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