The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
