If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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