I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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