i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
