Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
