i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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