we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
