what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
