Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
