Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Sober January is a disaster.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
