week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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