I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
