All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
