You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
