i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
