yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just googled if crying burns calories
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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