i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
