You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
