How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
