Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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