He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
