my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
They took my balls.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
