She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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