Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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