that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
