At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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