I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He shit in the fireplace
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
