Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
