How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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