that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
