Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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