I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
