I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
