Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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