Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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