Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
