i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize